im back

I'm back and this time I'm believing in myself more than i did, i have the perfect partner who tells me everyday how pretty i am, how much he loves me and much more for my ears only.

I do believe him more than i would have a 5months ago but I do still have a complex which will take awhile to get rid of. I hate y face- i am scarred on my cheeks and i just see it in my pictures and i feel dirty for having them there I wish they were gone, even if they were mild scars...its just they are red which makes them easier to see. I feel that having bad skin created my eating disorder in some ways as when i started to get bad skin, i would say 'I've only got my body left which is nice' and so i would then look at my body a lot more than usual and started to criticise it.

I find it easier to not eat much in the day now, i do have to eat however when with family but i have ways around that.

I wish i was better at exercise cause i believe i would look thinner and toned by now. I have been going to the gym./..but I'm not feeling much from it so might go back to DVD workout as i felt the burn with that...also I think i might go swimming and cycling with my partner because he wants to get his body all toned up too, his body is perfect though..so slim and smooth i love it.

I had taken some Alli tablets but wasn't using them properly so gonna try and get my 'diet' into better shape then start taking them and get rid of this horrible fat on my body.

Astrid

xxx